November Now and Then

This is a love letter I wrote for the man who I love in scale 8/10

Dear You,

Thought in my lifeline, I won't write love letter anymore, because I know it's futile and I knew the feelings aren't mutual. Yet I chose to write it down whenever I found simple lessons I thought I'd never been at the page. It will be a manuscript, one day. I will keep myself sane to reread this and I believe whenever I read it, it would taught me a lesson. However I wish all these things will be about us, yet if it's not, then it would be a part of us. A piece of cake in life.

When- I could resist- not to smile- whenever I recalled the first time I've been knowing you. Never thought for a second I would love you in every kind of way. Nor about the love that grows. It's not because you weren't attractive, but because it was flowing by itself. Wasn't it?

God knows how long this unrequited feelings will last. But I don't. Although you keep the distances between us. Ditching me only means locking me down in fear of longing. I'll stay though it kills, everyday.

Then there will be a time we realize it's all about ego the one of us. Its mine.This complicated romance tales would never be mess unless I took control just like you do. I keep begging you to stay and expect everything will be reciprocal eventually.

I should've see that my heart should never take a control and being the boss but my mind. Clear mind should've led the pathway. But can you tell me what if it always been you on my mind?

Between us should be a river flows. Our feelings inside must go by the stream, take as wherever it goes. Yet you brought joyful in me. A beautiful soul that tame a storm. Then why, I rush to change where the wind blows?

You, I still reminisce every detail between us. Our dates, your smell of fragrance, time we spent together, our missed out dinner, our kisses. All the sweetness I replayed one hundred thousand times in my mind. Is it wrong if I'm here looking forward for more?

In those days you were not around, I don't even think to give up on you. I only want to relive all the times we had. I'll be waiting till you come back again. I wish to sleep in your arms, stay inside your warm embrace, showered with your kisses, or simply looking at your eyes, adore your eyebrows, get lost in your eyes, and listen all the stories from you.

You'll always be my Sagiboy. If all you need in life is time, then just take them with you. I'll keep loving you from here and will love you better next day.

When we were together, we'll never have tomorrow, then I will never give up on you. I try to love you when you're around, as long as I could have you, I will never surrender. I won't pass any chance I could have with you.

Jakarta, March 2020